A lot of my favorite things are negative. I like books about outsiders and weirdos, comics about guys who never find love, standup comedians like Bill Hicks, and songs about broken hearts. I’ve been told I hate everything. I’ve been called a grouch, an old man, negative, pessimistic, mean, and everything in between for various things I’ve blogged, written, or talked about. I guess my problem is I enjoy talking about what I don’t like more than I enjoy talking about what I do. Wait. while i’m on the subject… You know what I hate? . . .

Halloween. I hate Halloween. Mostly I hate dressing up. Halloween is like a giant theme party with no theme and a lot of dumb assholes. The only thing more stupid than dressing up in a costume as an adult is dressing up in a stupid unimaginative costume. Also, fuck you for having parties on the few days leading up to Halloween and having mandatory costumes, your party sucks. Halloween falls on a Wednesday this year so I have to deal with 5 full days of assholes in costumes, kill me now. I’m 27 years old, no I’m not “going as” anything. I was so relieved when I was finally too old to Trick-or-Treat because it meant I could stop having to dress up to get free candy, and now you want me to dress up to pay for alcohol? Fuck you. The only thing that sucks about hating Halloween is how much I love candy, skulls, bats, vampires, monsters, zombies and all the cool decorations that go along with Halloween. I think Halloween for kids is AWESOME. If there’s anything I can say I’m looking forward to having a kid for, it’s carving pumpkins and coaching baseball. If you are an adult you get a pass - you’re totally allowed to dress up if you are escorting a young kid trick-or-treating. Any kid who dresses up on Halloween is going to be way more stoked if his dad is dressed up too. Another thing you ask? What else still annoys me? Well since you asked… Teenagers who trick-or-treat. Have you turned 13? Oh you have? Well then you are too old to ask me for free candy. Lets face it you’ve really only been trick or treating the last 3 years so you can cover peoples shit in shaving cream and toilet paper anyway. Give it up. from 13 on to when you graduate college you are allowed to party on Halloween night, dress up if you want. But no more Trick or Treating. After you graduate college, you are an adult. Knock it off. So there you have it - my extremely unpopular opinion on Halloween. I hope you didn’t enjoy it at all and possibly even think less of me.